Religion makes me ralph...

Throughout middle school and even well into high school, I had a deep love for Kirk Cameron. He's featured on VH-1's Top 100 Child Stars, which inspired me to look him up on the web. I'd seen the Way of the Master site long ago, but this old chat on E!Online made me smile. I'm so glad you got born again, Kirk.

From jujubee3: As a child of the '80s, I was a huge fan when you were on Growing Pains, so I was very happy to see you return in Left Behind--especially in that setting and context. As a believer myself (and a lover of the books), I was wondering how religion has made an impact in your life.

Kirk: Religion hasn't, God has! Religion makes me ralph...God makes me rejoice!

Suavatel...

Oh, Suavatle, new fabric softener, I had no idea how good you would smell when I purchased you at the dollar store! The fact that I can't read your label becuse it's in Spanish makes no difference to me...the olfactory pleasure you provide heals any cultural misunderstandings our different languages might cause.

As for you, Ultrabright, I won't be purchasing your cheap, low sudsing detergent ass anymore. You don't even deserve to be placed on the same shelf as Suavatel!

Another Fascinating Look Into My Psyche

I had another one of these series of dreams within dreams last night: quatre-layered. In each I woke up “rich and discontemporized” (that phrase was told to me in the dream just as I woke up) in an apartment which was always some version of a placed I’ve once lived. In each dream I would wake up amongst groups of different people sitting around having conversations. I would wander around, trying to get my bearings and an answer from someone as to whether or not this was where I really lived. One apartment turned out to be a house. I walked through the sliding glass door into the backyard and found three grey-robed monks sitting around a plastic lawn table eating KFC and discussing whether Sammy on Days of Our Lives was actually a lesbian or not. Come to think of it, there were sliding glass doors in each of the apartments, through two of which I, quite disturbingly, made obscene gestures to the Mexican day laborers who would pass by. In the fifth, authentic, and final awakening, I discovered myself on the floor of my living room, my face in the bookcase and having slept through my alarm.

Thank you box of Little Debbie Reduced-fat Fudge Brownies.

Holy Shit!!!

Face Off!

I'm sick.

...not only in the head, but in my bod as well. Home from work the second day with what I believe is a flu. I feel crappy, but I still have to get work done. I'll have to go into the office tomorrow to do some catching up, which means that I'm going to have to go into Midtown during the Puerto Rican day parade. I don't even like to go outside on the day of the PR parade, and now I have to actualy go near it. Pray for me. Mayor Bloomberg is entreating the building owners and landlords on 5th Avenue not to board up their shop and windows this year. Yeah. Right.

Saturday Night Observations

An exciting evening. One of many to come. I did subscribe to Netfix; I've already blown through both of the movies, though, and will have to wait 1-2 business days for more. Ahhhnywayyy...

Observation #1: Watching the Saturday night rerun of Beauty and the Geek, from executive producer Ashton Kutcher, I realized that not only am I able to answer all the quiz questions posed to the beauties in order to test their trifling IQ's, but I am also able to answer all the pop culture questions propounded of the geeks!

Observation #2: The director's cut of Donnie Darko is not as good as the theatrical release. It inserted too much "explaining" through the emphasis of sci-fi and time travel. The sacrifice and tragedy were diminished.

OPRAH!!!

So Oprah is revving up her book club again...She's doing Faulkner. I feel as though I can no longer read him in public for fear that someone will think I'm a part of her book club. It's like Oprah has just been chosen as an anti-pope and will be performing black masses with As I Lay Dying as the main and desecrated sacrament. Now a bunch of middle-aged Oprah devotees will be...oh Lord. I'm going to vomit.