Suavatel...

Oh, Suavatle, new fabric softener, I had no idea how good you would smell when I purchased you at the dollar store! The fact that I can't read your label becuse it's in Spanish makes no difference to me...the olfactory pleasure you provide heals any cultural misunderstandings our different languages might cause.

As for you, Ultrabright, I won't be purchasing your cheap, low sudsing detergent ass anymore. You don't even deserve to be placed on the same shelf as Suavatel!